What if the life you want is waiting on the other side of your next drink? Kerry spent years believing alcohol was the key to having fun—because that’s what it looked like growing up. But the truth was far from it. After blackouts, painful wake-up calls, and moments of deep regret, Kerry found herself searching for something more. What she discovered was even better than she imagined: finding fun without alcohol. In this heartfelt story, Kerry shares how she made alcohol small and irrelevant and embraced a future full of joy, connection, and clarity.
Alcohol Meant Fun—Until It Didn’t
Growing up, I thought alcohol was the magic ingredient for fun. When my mom cracked open a Busch beer, it meant we’d build forts, eat M&Ms, and laugh until bedtime. She wasn’t angry or messy when she drank—just happy. As a kid, that was my first blueprint for what alcohol looked like: joy.
So when I became old enough to drink, I didn’t question it. I thought I needed alcohol to fit in, to relax, to let go. And for a while, it felt like it worked. I danced, I laughed, I let loose. But the cost? It came crashing in later—after the blackouts, the regret, the morning-after shame.
The worst part? I didn’t even remember most of those so-called “fun” nights.
When Everything Fell Apart
My drinking didn’t get serious until 2007, when my sister passed away unexpectedly. That loss rocked me. I didn’t know how to deal with the grief, and alcohol became the only way I knew how to numb it. What started as weekend drinks quickly turned into full-blown binges.
I’d black out and wake up to stories I didn’t remember being part of. I lost control, but no one seemed concerned because “Kerry’s just the fun one.” I carried the weight of that version of myself—the one who couldn’t remember what she’d done, but still had to hear about it later.
Eventually, I quit cold turkey. For a while. I stopped for three and a half years and convinced myself I had it under control. But moderation? It never worked for me. One glass became one bottle. The slippery slope returned, and before I knew it, I was back in the cycle.
My Breaking Point
There’s a photo of me passed out on a friend’s shoulder. I don’t remember that night, but I do remember the feeling when I found that picture on my phone. She was laughing. I was unconscious. That photo became my reminder. My turning point.
That image now lives in my journal as a bookmark—because I never want to forget what alcohol took from me.
I was tired of being the joke. Tired of people saying, “You’re so much fun when you’re drunk.” Tired of not being able to remember the moments everyone else laughed about. That’s not fun. That’s not living.
Enter: This Naked Mind
I had googled everything: “Am I drinking too much?” “How to quit alcohol?” “Can I learn to moderate?”. That’s when Annie Grace popped up in my Facebook feed with the 5-Day Alcohol Challenge. I joined on a whim in May 2024. As part of the challenge and doing the daily work, I even entered a contest to win access to The Path. I didn’t think I’d win.
But I did.
Coach Hayley called my name, and I cried. That scholarship changed my life. I thought I’d won access for a month—turns out, it was for a whole year. I was all in.
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From Fear to Freedom
Before The Path, I was scared of alcohol. Not because I understood it—but because I didn’t. I was scared of what it did to my mind, my body, my relationships. But fear wasn’t enough to keep me from falling back into old patterns.
Through Annie’s program, I learned why alcohol affected me the way it did. The science gave me power. The compassion gave me grace. I went from being scared of alcohol to simply not wanting it. That shift? It changed everything.
What Finding Fun Without Alcohol Really Looks Like
Finding fun without alcohol means I wake up without dread. I can dance and laugh and sing without wondering what I’ll regret in the morning. I can attend live music shows and know exactly how I’ll get home—because I’m driving.
It means game nights with my grandkids, long conversations I remember, and being fully present for the people I love.
It means I don’t have to perform for anyone. I’m not the “fun drunk Kerry” anymore. I’m just me. And that’s more than enough.
Duck Mode and Daily Wins
Coach Ruby introduced me to something called “duck mode.” It means going into situations with your head up and your mind made up. I bring my own AF drinks. I plan ahead. Before I go I tell myself, “You don’t have to figure it out later. You’ve already made your choice.”
Duck mode saved me in those early weeks. It’s still part of my life.
And you know what? Most of my friends are supportive. Some are even joining me. One friend is six months alcohol-free now. Another is exploring The Alcohol Experiment. They’ve seen the change in me—and they’re curious.
My Mindset Today
I don’t say, “I’m never drinking again.” I say, “I’m not drinking today.” That small change makes all the difference.
I also don’t count days. I don’t count how long it’s been since I quit gluten or dairy—why should alcohol be different? It’s just another thing that no longer serves me. That’s how I know I’ve made it small and irrelevant.
And when temptation shows up? I give myself 10 minutes. Time to breathe. I remember what alcohol really gave me—blackouts, shame, regret—and what I’ve gained since leaving it behind. The desire fades. The freedom remains.
What I’d Tell the Old Me
If I could talk to a younger version of myself, I’d say this: You don’t need that poison to fit in. You are lovable, joyful, and worthy just as you are.
Finding fun without alcohol doesn’t mean sacrificing anything. It means finally getting everything I always wanted—presence, laughter, real connection, peace.
I don’t miss the wine. I don’t miss the vodka. In fact, I miss nothing—because I finally have everything.
Share Your Story
Are you finding fun without alcohol with our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!
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